10 Benefits of Sleep You’re Not Aware of - Sleeping is Important

I wish sleep was unnecessary. If I could forgo my shuteye and work through the night, I would be unstoppable: imagine all the stuff that would get done! But this workaholic desire will never become a reality, because when I don’t get enough sleep, nasty consequences follow. I nodded off during a drive home from a musical festival last year (fortunately I snapped awake mere seconds before a semi truck would have plowed straight through my car). And I’m too embarrassed to admit the number of movies, plays, and college classes I have dozed off during because I found myself in a dark room while being burdened by a substantial sleep debt (let’s just call it “expensive nap-time?”). As nice it would be to have an extra 6-8 hours per night, the benefits of sleep cannot be denied. If you’re looking for a good reason to improve your quality of sleep (or an excuse to take a nap after you finish this article), keep on reading.


1. Improve your brain power.
Just because you’re asleep doesn’t mean your brain isn’t busy behind the scenes. Have you ever felt panicked the night before an exam because you couldn’t recall any of the material you were cramming in, but then the next morning you woke up to discover a staggering difference in your ability to remember? If so, this happened because your brain strengthens your memories while you sleep. Whether you’re learning a new language, studying for a test, or exploring a new hobby, expect to perform better after a good night’s sleep.
2. Enjoy more (and better) sex.
A study by the National Sleep Foundation discovered an alarming trend among Americans: one out of every four adults married to or living with a partner say they are often “so sleep-deprived that they are too tired to have sex.” The excuse “too tired to have sex” shouldn’t even exist, so please improve your sleep (for the sake of your sex life!).


3. Lose weight while you sleep.
Several studies point in the direction of a connection between a poor night’s sleep and weight gain. A recent study by the American Heart Association found that the sleep-deprived participants ate an average of 549 additional calories more than the control group (who slept an additional hour and twenty minutes).
4. Increased safety on the road.
A lack of sleep could lead to danger. According to a study by the American Automobile Association, 1 out of 6 deadly traffic accidents are due to drowsy driving. If you can help it, please don’t get behind the wheel when you’re so sleepy you can barely hold your head up. The signs of drowsy driving include drifting into another lane, frequent blinking, and lapses of concentration (i.e. when you realize you’re 10-20 miles farther and you didn’t even notice the journey).


5. Stay calm and cool at work.
While you shouldn’t numb yourself to feeling emotions, that doesn’t mean you should have a shouting match with a co-worker or boss. Surely you’ve noticed that a horrible night of sleep has a way of making you feel horrible (imagine!). The worse you feel, the more likely you are to lose your cool when faced with stressful situations.


6. Improve your athletic performance.
A study by the Stanford School of Medicine suggests that sleep could help athletes improve their performance. The college basketball players began the study by making no changes to their sleep schedule for 2-4 weeks. They were then asked to aim for 10 hours of sleep for the following 5-7 weeks. The well-rested athletes improved their speed, their free throw accuracy by 9%, their 3-point field goal accuracy by 9.2%, and their in-game performance.


7. Get more done in less time.
The irony of being “too busy to sleep”: neglecting to give your body the rest it needs merely makes it more difficult to pay attention (meaning it will take you longer to complete the task at hand).


8. Reduce stress.
Are you having a hard time sleeping because you’re stressed, or are you stressed because you’re having a hard time sleeping? Your quality of sleep and level of stress are so closely related that it can be hard to tell the difference, but the fact remains: a good night of shuteye will help you get rid of the nasty mental monsters living inside your thoughts. If you manage your stress, you can also look forward to improved heart health and blood pressure levels.


9. Boost immunity from sickness.
Want to avoid getting a cold or flu now that sweater weather is upon us? If so, get comfy under that blanket, because sleeping will help you stay healthy this fall and winter. A study by the Archives of Internal Medicine found that individuals sleeping less than 7 hours per night were 3 times more likely to get a cold than those who slept 8 or more.


10. It just feels good.
Your body needs sleep to survive (and anything you need to survive feels good when you need it). Think about how it feels when you get busy and have to delay a meal for several hours later than usual. Sure, your stomach gets grumpy and hungry, but isn’t that first bite delicious? Your body feels the same way about sleep when it needs rest. Be okay with the fact that you can’t work every hour of every day. Get a good night’s sleep (because it just feels good!). Read this article to check out 10 things that will help you sleep better. What benefits of sleep have you noticed in your life?


From:
http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Beauty/health/69727.html

怎样美白皮肤 实用美白方法小窍门

第一，小黄瓜切片美白法，时间：30秒。

这是我的美白方法全功略里面所需要时间和精力最少的一个美白方法啦。大家随便去周边菜场也好超市也好，买好小小的新鲜白嫩的黄瓜，拿回家洗净切片，敷在需要美白的地方30秒就OK.(因为黄瓜的水分比较容易被吸收，不能敷太久，不然水分要流失啦)

第二，珍珠粉。

珍珠粉是怎样美白皮肤的我想不需要多加介绍了，稍微有点美白尝试的JMS都知道。注意买珍珠粉的时候尽量选择细致点的。珍珠粉加上乳酪，抹在身上，去除死皮的效果那才叫一个绝。这是我的美白方法全功略中自己最爱用的。

第三，奈惠子净白乳液。

怎 样美白皮肤其实还是需要急用外力的，我的美白方法全功略中搜集了很多美白产品，但是今天向JMS单独推荐这一款，因为他是比较大众化的美白产品，不会伤害 肌肤那是当然了，还有修复的效果哦。奈惠子净白乳液卖的太好了，市场上假货也有，所以要买的JMS一定要在奈惠子净白乳液官网 http://www.naikeiko.com/ 买正品哦！

第四，VC超级美白而又简单的面膜。

这个方法能被我记载在美白方法全攻略中那真的是故事太多了。上面的奈惠子净白乳液就是他告诉我的。一个压缩面膜，一杯纯净水，维生素C。这三样东西泡开直接敷在脸上。不需要问这个是怎样美白皮肤的，JMS只要记住维生素C本身就可以美白就oK哦。

From:

http://lady.qq.com/a/20121101/000246.html

4 Breakfast Mistakes That Are Making You Gain Weight – How to Eat Breakfast

You already know that eating breakfast can help you slim down. But just because you are (hopefully!) making a concerted effort to rise and dine doesn’t mean you can eat whatever you want when you wake up—sorry, but calories still count before noon. So we asked Lisa Young, Ph.D., a dietician in New York City and author of The Portion Teller Plan, for the top breakfast mistakes women make. Avoid these so your morning meal doesn’t mess with the number on the scale.
You Guzzle OJ
Juice is much higher in sugar and calories per serving than actual oranges themselves. Go for the real fruit instead, which is more filling and contains more fiber—so it keeps you fuller longer.
You Have a Big Bowl of Nutritious Cereal
Yes, you get points for skipping out on the Frosted Flakes. But even so, be sure to watch your portion sizes. Most people actually pour out way too much and end up having two to three servings of the stuff, taking in more calories than they need.
You’re a Bagel Junkie
Everything bagels with cream cheese are fine every once in a while, but think of them as a treat: Most bagels are equivalent to about five pieces of bread, calorie-wise (and that doesn’t even count all the toppings). On most days, you’ll want to stick to whole-wheat toast spread with natural peanut butter to get the bagel effect.
You Go for Fruit-on-the-Bottom Yogurt
Yes, yogurt is a good choice. But the sugary ones are loaded with extra calories you don’t need. Have plain low-fat yogurt instead, and top it with your own fruit to add sweetness.


From the webpage:

http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Beauty/health/69764.html






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13 Reasons Why You Will Never Be Successful - How to Be a Successful Man and Woman

Do you know why the odds of becoming a huge success is so low? Because it’s insanely tough. But at the same time, the changes you can make in your life to exponentially increase the odds are actually very simple. Simple, but not easy. It’s all in your mind. Are you ready to make major changes in your life? Let’s get to it. Here are the 13 reasons why you will never be successful in life.
1. You push off responsibility
Accept full responsibility for every single thing that happens in your life. Don’t blame others. Don’t blame circumstances. Don’t blame what you lack. And definitely don’t blame your luck. You will always have choices to make in every situation, and these choices will always have consequences.
Take responsibility. Make the right choices, because they will either steer you that bit closer to your goals, or away from them. Success is nothing but a series of all the right choices you make. If you want something, got get it yourself. You’re in charge. Period.
I am the master of my fate, I am the captain of my soul. ~ William Ernest Henley
2. You procrastinate
Understand the cost of being a procrastinator. It is like a credit card. You have a lot of fun while at it, but wait until you get the bill. Procrastination is deadly.
I don’t care what your reason for procrastinating is. The Law of Diminishing Intent states that if you don’t take action soon after the idea strikes you and the emotion is high, fairly soon the urgency starts to diminish. And the longer you wait, the less likely you will ever get the job done.
Start off by making the decision to declare war on your procrastination devil. By just being aware that you need to be at an endless battle with this devil, you are already ahead of the majority.
Procrastination is one of the most common and deadliest of diseases and its toll on success and happiness is heavy. ~ Wayne Gretzky
3. You are a perfectionist
Perfection does not exist. It is only a great excuse not to get started. Do your best; strive to be good; strive to become better than you were yesterday; but forget perfection. Because if your work truly matters to you, you will never ever reach that state anyway.
And stop waiting for the ideal moment or the ideal plan. It will never happen. If it does, something is bound to go haywire along the way. You just need to get started. And then again tomorrow. And again the day after.
Your dreams will never come to fruition if you are preparing and waiting around. They will if you apply and take massive action.
Do not wait; the time will never be ‘just right.’ Start where you stand, and work with whatever tools you may have at your command, and better tools will be found as you go along. ~ Napoleon Hill
4. You are afraid of criticism
If you are going to be achieving anything great, expect tons of criticism and haters. Learn to handle them. Learn the kind of criticism you should accept and the kind that you should discard. Not all criticism is of use.
In any case, do not let the fear of criticism stop you from doing what you have to do. You do not have to please everyone. That’s a sure route to failure. This is your mission. This is your life. Let’s do this.
To avoid criticism say nothing, do nothing, be nothing. ~ Aristotle
5. You are afraid of failure
Do things for success, but expect failure along the way. Failure is absolutely necessary. Failure is a life lesson designed to bring out the best in you. If you are too afraid to fail, then don’t start.
It’s okay to have some fear, but don’t be too discouraged when you do fail. Because it’s not about how many times or how big you fall, it’s about how many times you’re willing to get up and try again. And I hope you answered that with, “as many times as it takes.”
It is impossible to live without failing at something, unless you live so cautiously that you might as well not have lived at all – in which case, you fail by default. ~ J.K. Rowling
6. You are darn lazy
If you’re putting in the same amount of work as the people around you, consider yourself lazy. It’s a competitive world, and if you want to stand out at all, then prepare yourself mentally and work two times harder than everyone else. If others work five hours, you work seven. Work your butt off. It pays. And forget all your partying.
Formula for success: rise early, work hard, strike oil. ~ J. Paul Getty
7. You lack originality and creativity
You are already lazy. It’s not any better that you are doing the same thing everyone else is doing. You need to be unique if you want to stand out as well.
Be original and get those creative juices flowing. Dare to be different from the crowd. You can get ideas and inspiration from others. You can even copy to a certain extent. But in the end, be your authentic and genuine self. People are dying to see the unique you, and not another copycat.
Trusting your individual uniqueness challenges you to lay yourself open. ~ James Broughton
8. You play it solo
We humans were biologically designed to flourish together. Success does not come by our self. There’s a reason why we like to say we “could not have done it without you” in the Oscars Academy Awards. It’s true.
Don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. Learn to genuinely connect with others and work together. Support one another. Likewise, help and offer value to others. You cannot expect to receive when you don’t give.
Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is a progress; working together is a success. ~ Henry Ford
9. You are ungrateful
Being grateful increases your level of happiness dramatically. You will be much better equipped to face life’s challenges when your natural state is full of joy, happiness, and gratitude. Happiness leads to success, and not the other way round.
Start adopting an attitude of gratitude and if need be, keep a gratitude journal. Look around as you read this. I bet there’s at least one thing that would make life very different for you if you lost it. And make no mistake, this is not a chance for you to settle with what you have. Being grateful and settling are two very different things.
Develop an attitude of gratitude, and give thanks for everything that happens to you, knowing that every step forward is a step toward achieving something bigger and better than your current situation. ~ Brian Tracy
10. You fail to learn from your mistakes
Along the way, you’re going to make a ton of mistakes. Accept them with humility. Those are some free life lessons. Approach every mistake you make as a special learning experience sent to teach you something valuable and necessary for your success in the future.
Einstein says that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. Learn from your mistakes and do not repeat them.
Learning from your mistakes is an essential skill that enables you to develop the resilience to be a master of change rather than a victim of change. ~ Brian Tracy
11. You don’t believe in yourself
“He who says he can and he who says he can’t are both usually right” (Confucius). Drop all your self-limiting beliefs. If you want something with a strong enough passion, you will find ways to make the impossible happen. The only limits you ever set up for yourself are all in the mind. Change them.
You are unstoppable. Dream big because you are destined for greatness. Believe that you will be a big success. You already have everything it takes to crush life. All you have to do right now is succeed.
When your desires are strong enough, you will appear to possess superhuman powers to achieve. ~ Napoleon Hill
12. You lack consistency
Consistency is crucial to your success. Develop the habit of showing up all the time, whether you feel like it or not. The pro doesn’t give himself excuses. He just gets the work done. Short bursts of fiery enthusiasm will not cut it.
Come up with a system for yourself and make sure you stick with it. Deciding and succeeding to hit the gym four times a week is far more superior than deciding to hit the gym seven times a week and failing to execute three times. Yes, even when the outcome is the same, because you are training your mind to be weak by not doing what you say you will do. That weakness will rub off negatively on other areas of your life.
Long-term consistency will always trump short-term intensity.
We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit. ~ Aristotle
13. You have stopped growing
Successful people understand that they need to sharpen their skills all the time. They understand that once they stop, they will fall behind the competition. They’ve made the decision early in the game to become excellent and the top in their field.
The moment you stop growing and learning is the moment you truly fail. That includes your personal development and all other areas of your life. In fact, the moment you decide your level of personal development is enough, that’s when you become a failure of life.
Your level of success will seldom exceed your level of personal development. ~ Jim Rohn
I don’t write articles just to entertain. My work on this planet is to serve and inspire others. To inspire action. I’ve learned along the way that if you truly want to succeed, you have to focus on one thing at a time and master it. Don’t multitask. It is true that all 13 are essential for your success, but you are setting yourself up for failure if you try to master all 13 life changes simultaneously. Slow and steady wins the race. Pick just one and focus all your energies on it. If I were you, I’d choose consistency.


From:
http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Psycology/self-improvement/69814.html

10 Common Foods in Your Diet that Are Making You Healthy - Eating is Important

We’ve all heard the nutritional consultants, dietitians and food gurus who reprimand us about what not to eat – giving us warnings and statistics about the bad consequences of poor dietary choices. However, there are some common foods we eat every day that studies show provide great health benefits. While to the untrained eye our food is just, well…food, below I’ve listed 10 common foods found in your diet that are actually making you healthy.
1. Coffee
The caffeine in found in coffee can help aid physical performance, fat loss and mental alertness. However, what many people don’t know, is that coffee contains essential nutrients for human health, as well as antioxidants that have been shown to prevent certain types of cancer and disease.
It’s been recommended to drink five cups of coffee daily to receive these benefits. Anything more than five could be counterproductive, as too much caffeine has been shown to increase levels of anxiety and stress.
By choosing a quality brand, and perhaps leaving out the sugar, you could be receiving more than a pick-me-up for the morning – you’ll also receive a range of benefits that will aid your health down the line.
2. Chocolate
Normally it’s dark chocolate that gets a lot of attention for its antioxidants and health benefits. However, studies show that eating regular chocolate can bring us some good too. Chocolate releases the chemical serotonin in the brain, making us feel happy and also improving our stress levels.
Whilst dark chocolate seems to be a more sensible choice than your average chocolate brand, as long as you have a balanced diet in check then having a bit of chocolate from time to time, no matter the variety, is actually a good thing!
3. Peanut Butter
Peanut butter is a great source of vitamin E, which is good for the skin and helps reduce damage from high cholesterol. Peanut butter has also shown to be a great food supplement for women during and after pregnancy, as vitamin E is very important during the early stages of life.
Of course, choosing an organic brand of peanut butter is ideal to get the most benefits, as cheap supermarket brands contain high amounts of sugar, salt and vegetable oil. So if you – like many others – suffer with a mild peanut butter addiction, studies show it’s not all that bad.
4. Eggs
Eggs have been labeled as a superfood in recent years, as they contain essential vitamins, minerals, and protein and are a source of good fats for the body. Eggs have also become a staple food in some of the best fat-loss diets around.
Having eggs in our diets is by no means a bad thing. Eggs got a bad reputation in the past because of high cholesterol concerns; however, further research has shown this to be a fallacy and that we can enjoy eggs as part of a healthy diet.
5. Red Wine
Red wine is becoming widely known for its various health benefits. This is chiefly because of the antioxidants it contains, which have been shown to prevent certain types of cancers and to increase longevity. In addition, red wine is a preferable choice for dieters because of its low sugar content. And whilst not wanting to encourage you to drink more alcohol, the studies on red wine are still very promising – you could be better off drinking one glass a day than none at all.
6. Curry
Turmeric is a principal spice ingredient in most curries, and it’s responsible for a range of health benefits. Some of these benefits include the reduction of swelling and pain associated with the inflammation of the joints. Curries that contain chili, ginger and black pepper also aid a healthy metabolism, not to mention helping the immune system.
7. Tomato Sauce
If you enjoy Italian food, make sure your pastas have a tomato-based sauce. Tomato paste, which is the main ingredient of common pasta sauces, contains vitamin B5, which supports our adrenal glands and improves our response to stress. One tablespoon of tomato paste contains just 13 calories, so not only is it good for our health, it’s also a wise choice for dieters looking to shed some pounds.
8. Milk
While many of us are aware that milk has some health benefits, particularly its calcium levels and fat-soluble vitamins, one of the most interesting facts about milk is that it contributes to your hydration levels. Those of us who neglect drinking water but have time for a glass milk will find that milk is in fact 90% water! So if you’re not keen on eight glasses of water a day, studies show that substituting some of those for milk can be just as beneficial.
9. Beef Burgers
Believe it or not, a beef burger by itself is not all that bad; beef provides nutrients such as iron, zinc and B vitamins. Whilst a burger and fries from your standard fast food joint may not be the best way to go about health, creating your own burger at home and choosing a wholemeal bun is actually a rewarding meal in terms of good health and nutrition.
10. Cereal
Most cereals – including high-sugar brands – contain folic acid, which is essential for our bodies’ cell replication and prevents cell mutation and cancers. Of course, choosing low-sugar cereals is advocated, but as with any balanced diet, if you weaken and indulge in a childhood favorite every once in a while, it might not be so bad after all.
Final Note
There are a lot of foods we commonly eat that offer a range of health benefits. And even some of the most energy-dense foods can still have their potential health properties. The real key is to find a balance in our lives and enjoy the food we eat, and if you want to lose some excess pounds, just cut back a little bit and increase your exercise level. You may just find the foods you are eating now are offering more than you



From:
http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Beauty/health/69810.html

Live A Beautiful Life In 10 Easy Steps - Make Your Life More Colorful

Life is beautiful! And even more so if you are living a life filled with happiness, peace and contribution. However, many people, including myself, have lived a life full of possessions, with a soul full of hatred, a job that sucks the very life out of them, and an emptiness inside.
Even with its struggles and difficulties life can be beautiful, depending what you focus on. A beautiful life is one that makes you feel fully alive, is full of inspiration and creates a deeper, more connected environment for us to live in. With this in mind I’ve come up with a few steps on how to live a beautiful life.
25 Things You Must Do In Your Twenties
1. Always be grateful for the blessings and gifts you already have.
A must for all people who want to or who are already living a beautiful life. If you can do just one thing out of all of these steps, I’d recommend this one: being thankful for all that you already have is the key to a beautiful life. Taking time out to be thankful even through the tough times will set you up for a happier, more peaceful existence. It will not only touch your own life but also those around you. How wonderful is that?
2. Try to know and understand yourself.
Most of us have an idea of ourselves, yet very few actually know or understand who we really are. To begin the wonderful journey of living a beautiful life this is very important. You’ll need to take a good, hard look at the stuff that you may have been denying for years and that which has been under wraps without you even knowing. This is a chance for self-discovery and will include rediscovering your passions, desires, fears and insecurities. It might not be as easy as you first thought, so I’d suggest involving a good, trusted friend to help you dig a little deeper. Either way, this process will open your eyes and help you to see how your life has the potential to be beautiful.
3. Work out what a beautiful life means to you.
If you don’t feel that your life is beautiful right now, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what it is that you think is missing? Is it a purpose, inspiration, happiness, or something else? Questions that delve deeper are important here like asking: “What is it that is keeping me stuck in this cycle of unhappiness? Is it fear of failure, rejection, or making the wrong choices?” Whatever it is, none of these are good enough reasons to be unhappy or not living a beautiful life.
4. Start to make changes to towards living your beautiful life.
When you know that a beautiful life is there for the taking, it will mean changes will need to be made in some areas of your life. It’s no good doing the same stuff because you’ll get the same results. All it takes is a little time to work out what maybe missing from your life or what needs letting go of.
For example, if you want to find your purpose in life, perhaps it’s time to surround yourself with people who inspire, lift and encourage you rather than spending time with the same friends who have always brought you down. It might also mean that you need to start standing up for yourself a little bit more and saying no a bit more often; it’s the little things that can make all the difference.
5. Give away love to feel more love.
In order to live a beautiful life, love is one of the things that make life worth living. The thing is, however, most of the time we expect it to be given in order for us to give it back. Instead of thinking this way, why not live your life with love being the principle aim in all that you do, especially when interacting with other people in your day-to-day life? Everyone needs love in their life, whether it’s from a partner, a friend, family or a perfect stranger. Make your beautiful life more meaningful by giving love to everyone you meet in the form of kindness, understanding, tolerance, acceptance and generosity.
6. Practice forgiveness.
How can you have a beautiful life if you are full of resentment and bitterness? You can’t, is the simple answer! However, when someone has wronged you or let you down, it can prove difficult to forgive and forget.
Forgiveness, however, is not about letting someone of the hook: it’s more about letting yourself off the hook! You see, forgiveness not only takes tremendous stress out of any situation, but it also sets you free. Why? Because if you hold on to anger, bitterness and resentment, they will only eat away at you, keeping you a prisoner of your feelings and hurting yourself in the meantime. It does you no good, and it also ensures that any steps you take towards your beautiful life will be in vain. So do yourself a favor, forgive and then move on with your life.
7. Look at things from a new perspective.
In times of trouble, when your circumstances leave a lot to be desired, it can be difficult to see what you are going through as a gift. However, if you look at the struggle as a new learning opportunity and ask yourself: “What is this situation trying to teach me?” you’ll go a long way to living a more beautiful life.
It’s that change in perspective that makes the harder times seem less so because you are taking the situation and turning it around. This is a wonderful way to view your life because the more you are mindful of what you can learn in any given situation, the more you will breeze through your struggles with effortless grace. Now that sounds great, don’t you think?
8. Be more flexible in your thinking.
When our thinking is rigid and inflexible, it gives little room for change or improvement. To live a beautiful life it is beneficial to have the kind of mind that can be open and flexible, so that new information or unexpected situations can be grasped with less drama or stress. It’s when we are flexible in our approach to life we can enjoy and experience it with unbound possibilities.
9. Expect the best not the worst.
Life can be a roller-coaster ride, with its ups and downs, as well as triumphs and disappointments. When we expect the very best from people and situations, we start to fill our lives with a more positive outlook, as well as creating a more compassionate and understanding environment. If you learn to expect the best, you’ll bring more situations to you that will only ever be the best!
10. Live a beautiful life to make a difference in the world.
This isn’t about preaching to others on how you’ve changed your life, but more about being the kind of person who inspires others to live a beautiful life too. As Mahatma Gandhi famously said, “Be the change you want to see in the world.” In short, if you want to see a difference in the world and to make it a more beautiful place, then start with yourself!
So, are you ready to live a beautiful life?


From:
http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Life/lifestyle/69786.html

10 Things You Should Know When Having A Relationship In Your 20s - Love & Responsibility Important

Having a relationship might one of the hardest things there is. This is even more difficult if you’re in your 20s. Couples still have a long list of mistakes they must go through before they learn key lessons to getting and maintaining a great relationship.
Here are some things you should keep in mind if you plan on having a relationship in your 20s.

1. Make Time for a “Date Night”
Young couples are constantly going out, spending time with friends, working, or going to school. In order to show one another how much you care, it’s a very good idea to plan a date night, even if it’s just once a month.
Take turns picking the restaurant, or even prepare a romantic dinner at home. Make sure your cellphone is off and you’re as mindful as possible.

2. Take Turns Paying for Dinner
The days where the man pays for everything are gone. It’s okay to take turns paying for whatever it is that you do. Whether one pays for the dinner and the other the movie, it doesn’t matter. You’re both young, just starting out, and this will help keep your relationship balanced.

3. Set Honest Expectations
The most important rule when it comes to any kind of dating is to be clear what your expectations are with the relationship. If you see it lasting for the long run, then make sure that your partner knows that. In other hand, if you’re looking for someone just to have sex, then say that as well.
Believe me, being honest with what you expect will show that you’re confident and will earn you a lot of respect from your partner. Don’t disregard this.

4. You Can Still Have Friends
It’s very important to not exclude yourself from your social circle to hang out with your partner 24/7. This person isn’t the only thing that’s important in your life. You still have other people who want to spend time with you. Be sure to keep up with your friends and do fun things together. You need to give each other space to keep the relationship fresh.

5. Nagging Isn’t Cool
Your partner will do things that piss you off. Don’t nag. This is immature and you will lose your partner’s respect for doing it. Calmly discuss your opinion and why you feel the way you do.

6. Keep Your Relationship Semi-Private
It’s ok to post a couple of cute pictures here and there on Instagram and Facebook, but the reality is that people really don’t want to see pictures of you kissing multiple times per day.
Avoid posting pics on Facebook every time you kiss, or Tweeting about your plans every other minute. While people may be happy about your relationship, they don’t want to hear about it 24/7.

7. Be Yourself & Let Your Partner Do The Same
One of the key aspects of every relationship is letting yourself and your special someone be themselves. You were attracted to this person for a reason, and there’s no need to try and change them.
Likewise, don’t let someone try to change you. You are who you are, and if that’s not good enough for either of you, then this isn’t really a relationship that’s going to work.

8. Be Adventurous & Enjoy Your Time Together
This is another one that’s very important. Remember that you’re still in your 20s and you should be having as much fun as possible.
Set aside time to do both of your favorite activities and hobbies. Be adventurous and try something new that you’ve both never done before. Don’t take yourself that seriously. Make jokes and laugh about anything and everything.

9. Communication is Important
Every relationship expert will emphasize the importance of communication in a long-lasting relationship. Each night, talk about your day, your concerns, your thoughts, and your dreams with one another. As the other person is talking, be sure to listen attentively, and communicate your interests and feelings.

10. Trust, But Without Being Naive
Trust is important. It’s the backbone of all relationships, especially those in your 20s. Avoid hacking your loved one’s cell phone, computer, and emails. This isn’t going to solve anything.
When situations arise, trust only reliable sources, such as those who aren’t trying to sabotage your relationship. On the flip side, don’t be naive about the situation either.
You both deserve to be happy, and if things don’t work out, as they say, there are other fish in the sea.

Following these simple relationship rules—if you’re meant to be together—is truly the way to make your relationship work, and last a lifetime.

From:

http://www.en8848.com.cn/Article/Psycology/Goal/69755.html

让人心醉的风景，启迪心灵的美文 [转]

1、庸人败于惰，能人败于傲

    世上两种人必定惨败，一种是懒惰之人，另一种是骄傲之人。前者什么事都想在“明日”再做，结果总是一事无成;后者瞧不起天下所有人，自认为自己最聪明，常常招来他人的不满和怨恨，于是往往受人诋毁、咒骂，最后被恶意的诽谤所吞没。

2、不必一味讨好别人

    讨好每一个人是不可能的，也是没有必要的。讨好每一个人，等于得罪每一个人。刻意去讨好别人，只会使别人产生厌恶。亲近别人要自然，“投机”心态要改变。有时间讨好，不如踏踏实实做事，讨好别人总是靠不住，自己努力才实实在在。

3、好心境是自己创造的

　　我 们常常无法去改变别人的看法，能改变的恰恰只有我们自己。坏的生活不在于别人的罪恶，而在于我们的心情变得恶劣。让生活变好的金钥匙不在别人手里，放弃我 们的怨恨和叹息，美好生活就垂手可得。我们主观上本想好好生活，可是客观上却没有好的生活，其原因是总想等待别人来改善生活。不要指望改变别人,自己做生 活的主人。

4、用心做自己该做的事

　　人生是如此的短暂,哪有心思去浪费呢?有智慧的哲人曾经说过:“大街上有人骂我，我是连头也不回的，根本不想知道这个无聊之人!”我们既不要去伤害人家，也不要被别人的批评左右，还是按照自己的愿望，先踏踏实实学好本领再说。特别在少年时要全力以赴学本领，不要分心。

5、别总是自己跟自己过不去

    学 会自己欣赏自己,等于拥有了获取快乐的金钥匙。欣赏自己不是孤芳自赏，欣赏自己不是唯我独尊，欣赏自己不是自我陶醉，欣赏自己更不是固步自封------ 自己给自己一些自信，自己给自己一点愉快，自己给自己一脸微笑，何愁没有人生的快乐呢?!经常要自己给自己过节，学会寻找愉悦的心情。

    6、不要追逐世俗的荣誉

　　终 生寻找所谓别人认可的东西，会永远痛失自己的快乐和幸福。庸俗的评论会湮灭自己的个性，世俗的指点会让自己不知所措。为钱而钱会使自己六亲不认，为权而权 会使自己胆大妄为，为名而名会使自己巧取强夺。真实的我在刻意的追逐之中，会变成一张张碎片随风飘扬，世俗的我已变得面目可憎。

7、极端不可取

    有些人常常因为忧虑过度，而导致自己精神失常;有些人却因为麻木不仁，造成自己对任何事情都无动于衷。前者常为寻找理性而痛苦，因聪明过头而衰亡，愚蠢的根源在于什么都懊悔。后者不知悔恨为何物，整天稀里糊涂地生活，活着与死去没有什么区别。

8、每个人都有自己的活法

    自己的伤痛自己清楚, 自己的哀怨自己明白, 自己的快乐自己感受。也许自己眼中的地狱，却是别人眼中的天堂;也许自己眼中的天堂，却是别人眼中的地狱。生活就是这般的滑稽。不要总疑春色在人家，关键在于自己心态的调整。

9、喜欢自己才会拥抱生活

    盲 目自大自尊，是骄傲无知的人生，一味自暴自弃，是消极悲观的人生。了解自己比了解别人更困难，喜欢自己比喜欢别人更不容易。拥有健康的恰当的自尊心理，面 对挫折会表现得格外坚强。不为外界的诱惑而丢失自我，不为一时的挫折否定自己。时时客观冷静地评价自己，每每乐观中肯地赞赏自己。若连自己都不爱，还能爱 别人吗?喜欢自己吧！

10、福中有祸，祸中有福

　　莫 被一时之得失冲昏头脑，一味陶醉于暂时的胜利。自己一定要居安思危，切莫居功自傲，洋洋得意。陶醉胜利，意味着驻足停顿，陶醉胜利，意味着失去警惕。人生 路上要永不松懈，胜利仅仅是一个小小的路标。要想取得最后的胜利，只要努力，努力，再努力。莫为一时之得所迷惑，谁笑得最晚，谁笑得最开心。

11、重要的是活得充实

　　把 每一天过好是最大的幸福，快乐源于每天的感觉良好。总忧虑明天的风险，总抹不去昨天的阴影，今天的生活怎能如意?总攀比那些不可攀比的，总幻想那些不能实 现的，今天的心灵怎能安静?任何不切实际的东西，都是痛苦之源，生命的最大杀手是忧愁和焦虑。痛苦源于不充实，生活充实就不会胡思乱想。

12、愉悦的根基在自己身上

　　一 般人总是将人生的愉悦，寄托在外界的事务上，依附于世俗的认同上。百般看重地位、财产，以及待遇、名誉等东西，自己一旦失去这些，便是沉重的打击，常会痛 不欲生，其幸福和快乐的根基也随之毁灭。假如自己真是这样过生活，那么快乐离我们是相当遥远的。为什么要让别人来评价自己的快乐程度，把握好自己。

13、感觉幸福就是幸福

　　许 多人都在刻意追求所谓的幸福;有的虽然得到了，其代价却巨大无比。许多哲人都说，幸福是种感觉，就如同“佛”就在你我心中。幸福的感觉随满足程度而递减， 与人的心境、心态密切相关。先哲们说:得之愈艰、爱之愈深，拥有幸福，常思艰难。一个人总是感觉不到幸福，是自己的最大悲哀。幸福是种感觉，不知足，永不 会幸福，知足者常乐！

14、别人的恩泽要牢记

　　目光短浅的人总是“忘恩负义”，危机时到处求助，事成之后再不露面。求人时信誓旦旦，得逞后胡作非为。这种人最被人鄙视。“忘恩负义”让朋友伤心，“忘恩负义”是急功近利的表现。“忘恩负义”只得益于一时，却会永远失信于人。切忌过河拆桥，过河拆桥会断了自己的后路。 

15、凡事要留有余地

　　每 一个人都会在自己的生命旅程中，遭遇到完全不同的“三种人”。第一种是能够理解、欣赏和器重自己的人；第二种是曲解、中伤甚至排斥自己的人；第三种人是与 自己毫无关系、无关痛痒的人。第一种人对自己有知遇之恩，应当尊为师友，滴水之恩当涌泉相报。第二种人对自己造成深深的伤害，需要智慧地远离，而不是烦恼 和计较。对于第三种人要以礼相待、和平共处。了解不同的人，区别对待，物以类聚，人以群分。 

16、己所不欲勿施于人

　　把 自己的主观意志强加于人，于己于人均是件痛苦的事情。以自己的威严强加自己的意志，别人只是口服而心不服，而且日久必生反抗之心。以自己的固执强加自己的 意志，别人仅是默忍或是隐怒，但是日久也可能反目成仇。检讨自己的言行是否与社会和谐，才能真正得到别人的认同。人与人是不可能一致的，不要以我为中心。 

17、得意不忘形，失意不失态

　　身 处顺境必须格外谨慎，否则容易乐极生悲。人生得意的时候容易忘形，一忘形就不知道自己姓什么，于是恶念和恶行就会趁隙而入。身处逆境必须格外忍耐，否则容 易早早夭折。人生失意的时候容易失态，一失态就不知道自己的未来，于是消极和绝望就会趁隙而入。笑看人生潮起潮落，守住自己的心。 

18、人生应当欢乐有度

　　 适 当的娱乐活动能调节情绪，无休无止的欢乐却易转益为害。物极则反，数穷则变。“大凡快意处，即是多病处。”“棋可遣闲，易动心火------”一味狂欢尽 兴是肤浅的人生，换来的往往是痛苦的悔恨。尽兴有度是达观的人生。乐极生悲不局限于娱乐方面，涉及到人生的方方面面。欢乐与悲哀是伴生的，欢乐有度会使欢 乐常伴。

19、一味忍让不可取

　　一 味忍让，意味着丧失原则;一味忍让，意味着没有人格;一味忍让，意味着软弱可欺;一味忍让，意味着面临步步进逼的危险;一味忍让，意味着将走入绝路。有时 候挺身而起、奋力反抗效果更好，得寸进尺是愚人常采用的计策，一再忍让反而助长其嚣张气焰。该出手时就出手，给点厉害也是不得已而为之! 对得寸进尺者该迎头痛击，忍让不一定是好事。

20、多理性行事少意气用事

　　做事不能只凭自己的感情，做事更不能只凭自己的感觉，意气用事必有麻烦。有时自己的知觉是错的，事情并不是想象的这般简单，表象总是容易迷惑人心。理性做事不至于反复折腾，理性做事不会出现大的差错，理性做事才不会使自己后悔莫及。切记:凡事都不能太冲动!不能只跟着感觉走，多思考才能不后悔。